Ask An Aperture Employee
[[ Alright, I answered a few questions today, lol. I’ll finish up the few I have left tomorrow, and then we’ll go from there. There’s Science to be done in my dreams! Good Night, Tumblr. ]]

You have NO idea.

He’s good.

Like a big, metallic, overpowered Teddybear.

Thanks for asking. 

askcavejohnsonceo:

Ladies and gentleman.

THIS is not Science.

Amusing, but certainly not Science.

We already know what happens when you shoot someone.

Hell, why do you think we have turrets.

Good to see we’re getting good science done, Sir…

I’m Dr. Jones. 

I’m working towards Head Researcher at the Technologies and Computer Research  Division.

It’s nice to meet you. 

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

“How…. fitting….”


I just thought it was funny. That’s all.Like a sheep in wolf’s clothing. 

“Well, some of us would have plenty of experience wearing one of these now wouldn’t we?”


I’m sure I have no idea what you mean, Dr. Wyatt.

“Of course you don’t doctor, err, doctor…. What was your name again?”


And you should take care to learn it.Afterall, it’s only polite. 

“I’ll tell you what’s polite.” he spits that last word at her. “Being faithful to Aperture and only Aperture. And not having anything to do with Black Mesa.”



I guess we agree on something, at least. I’m fully faithful to my research here at Aperture Science Innovators. After all, Dr. Wyatt, which one of us is wearing ‘their’ insignia at the moment? 

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

totallynotablackmesaspy:

asktheaperturelabboy:

“How…. fitting….”

I just thought it was funny. That’s all.

Like a sheep in wolf’s clothing. 

“Well, some of us would have plenty of experience wearing one of these now wouldn’t we?”

I’m sure I have no idea what you mean, Dr. Wyatt.

“Of course you don’t doctor, err, doctor…. What was your name again?”

And you should take care to learn it.

Afterall, it’s only polite

“I’ll tell you what’s polite.” he spits that last word at her. “Being faithful to Aperture and only Aperture. And not having anything to do with Black Mesa.”

I guess we agree on something, at least. I’m fully faithful to my research here at Aperture Science Innovators. 

After all, Dr. Wyatt, which one of us is wearing ‘their’ insignia at the moment? 

I’m loyal to my company, but I’m sorry GLaDOS I am not your personal puppet. 

…. Consider the Neurotoxin dealt with. 

It’s very involving and interesting work.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. My name is, and always has been, Dr. [REDACTED] Jones.

I am not impersonating anyone.

And I’m definitly not ’ running amuck ‘.

[[ It’s ALIVE V2.0 Dr. Jones is not dead, and neither is this account! Expect responces in the next 24-hours! ]]
[[ IT’S ALIVE!! ]]

[[ Well, I’ve had a very nasty Flu rip through my household, but I’m slowly recovering. I have a few questions back-logged, and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I haven’t received any new Asks since the last time I was online.

I’ll start working on questions again starting this week. Thank you for your patience! ]]

You haven’t been working here long, have you?

Of course it exists. Hell, I’m not sure what kind of messed up Aperture Sceince Innovators Incorporated you work at, but it sure isn’t this one.

I worked along side the brilliant minds that created the Future-Capable computers. Well, I helped in the concept, at the very least.

…but unfortunately, I don’t have your name. Whoever you are, let me tell you one thing.

I’m here to do my job, which I’ve been doing for the past three months, and I’m not going to let these little outbursts of ‘name calling’ make me stray from my work. There’s research to be done.

skirtforscience:

Step Four of Five

Step Three: Casual Monitoring

Step Five: SPY CHECK!!

How cute….was all of this approved by any of your higher-ups?  I thought we were told to avoid contact the spies at all cost.